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Managing relationships

Supporting your wellbeing through healthy relationships.

Practical tips to help build and maintain relationships.

Building and maintaining relationships is one of the most rewarding and exciting parts of life, including at university, but this can also feel challenging at times. Whether it’s new friendships, flatmates, family, or romantic relationships, it’s normal to face ups and downs as you adjust. The quality of your relationships can have a big impact on how connected and supported you feel. Learning how to manage relationships in a healthy way can really support your wellbeing and help you feel more settled at university.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A healthy relationship usually means:

  • feeling safe, respected, and supported
  • mutual trust, understanding, and acceptance
  • being able to work through disagreements and repair conflicts when they arise

Healthy relationships often depend on emotional awareness and good communication skills. These are things you can learn and practice, and we’ve included resources to help you.

When relationships are not healthy or become unhealthy, they can feel draining or harmful and can have a negative effect. This can impact your physical and mental health which can disrupt other areas of your life.

What can I do to help manage relationships?

Healthy relationships start with clear boundaries, open communication, and looking after yourself. Knowing your limits and recognising warning signs helps you build positive connections and stay safe.

Setting clear boundaries

The boundaries that we set shape our relationships. Having very rigid boundaries can block connection, while very loose boundaries can lead to overcommitment. Finding a balance is key.

It can help to:

  • become aware of your boundary ‘style’ and how it changes with friends, family members or at work. e.g. do you overshare or become overly invested vs being withdrawn
  • identify your values, knowing what matters helps you to prioritise your time
  • give yourself permission to say ‘no’. Doing things we don’t want to do can lead to resentment
  • pay attention to strong feelings; feeling uncomfortable may mean that a boundary has been crossed
  • let go when needed: It’s okay to outgrow friendships or relationships that no longer feel right
  • stay connected to family (if safe); negotiate clear boundaries about how and when
  • be supportive of others, but not at the expense of your own wellbeing
  • when setting a boundary, be clear and assertive, while remaining respectful

Open communication

Good communication is essential for healthy relationships. It helps us express our needs, understand others, build trust, and manage conflict. It is important to practise:

  • Active listening: Be present, don’t wait for the other person to stop speaking so that you can say your piece! Use non-verbal communication to show engagement and reflect back what you hear
  • Being clear: use simple language, explain how you feel, and repeat your message if needed. Use “I” statements to express yourself without blame
  • Being emotionally aware: Recognise and regulate your emotions. Tune into others' emotions and respond with empathy if you can. Imagine how you would respond if you were in their shoes
  • Adapting your communication style: Adjust tone and approach for the situation, be mindful of cultural differences, personality, and communication needs
  • Asking Open-Ended Questions: Encourage conversation by asking, “What’s your perspective?” or “How do you feel about…?”
  • Managing Conflict Constructively: Pause, breathe, and focus on the issue rather than the person. Try to see their point of view and work towards common ground.

A healthy relationship will allow for your own opinions and views, and you should be confident in saying what you need, sharing how you feel, and expecting respect in return.

Looking after yourself

How we relate to ourselves shapes how we relate to others. You don’t need to “love yourself” perfectly in order to love and be loved, but being aware of your self-talk can make a big difference. The more empathetic you are to yourself, the more it helps you extend this to others.

  • Notice negative self-talk and ask: would I say this to a friend?
  • Remember that thoughts are not facts, they’re beliefs or feelings that can change
  • Practise kindness and patience with yourself
  • Try mindfulness or journaling to help you create space from unhelpful thoughts and build self-compassion

How to identify unhealthy relationships

Not all relationships are positive. Some can have a harmful impact on your wellbeing.

Signs of an unhealthy relationship may include:

  • a lack of trust
  • control or manipulation
  • poor communication
  • feeling isolated or cut off from others
  • intense ups and downs
  • constant unhappiness
  • emotional, physical, or sexual abuse

If you recognise any of these signs in your relationships, there is support available for you.

Helpful videos

  • The School of Life Channel's Relationship playlist offers insights and advice on a broad range of issues related to maintaining a healthy relationship.

  • Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships is a video by Dr. Joanne Davila (clinical psychologist and professor of psychology). She offers a model of “romantic competence" built on understanding and expressing your own needs, considering your partner’s needs and managing your feelings to respond thoughtfully.

Podcasts

  • Dial Emma podcast covers thought provoking discussions about friendships and relationships through a therapeutic lens
  • The Psychology of your 20's features episodes about a wide range of topics, including relationships

Apps

Our fee Be Well App includes help and support for managing emotions, supporting your mental health and connecting with others.

Helpful websites

People you can talk to

Speaking to someone about what’s going on can help. Having another person’s perspective can help you to understand what’s happening and validate how you’re feeling. You could:

  • speak to a trusted friend or family member about how you are feeling and the concerns you have in your relationship
  • speak to a Student Support Advisor at the Roper Centre at 4 West. They can help you navigate your situation whether this is a difficulty with a friendship or if you believe you are in an abusive intimate relationship. They can signpost you to specialist services and the support you might need.
  • to report abuse or harassment to the University you can also use the Support & Report tool; if you leave your contact details a specialist member of Student Support and Safeguarding staff will contact you to discuss options
  • you can call the Be Well – Talk Now phoneline on 0800 028 3766. This is available 24/7 and you can discuss your concerns with an advisor

If you are at immediate risk:

  • If you are concerned for your safety or you are worried that someone else may be at immediate risk of harm, please call 999 for emergency services
  • If you are in Bath and you need support (such as accessing emergency accommodation) call University Security on 01225 383999 or via the SafeZone app
  • Find a safe space. If an incident has just happened, try to find somewhere you feel safe, away from the person at risk of harming you, where you can contact someone for support

There is additional information available on our Student Support pages if you or a friend is experiencing or has experienced sexual violence and/or domestic abuse.

If you're worried that you are behaving abusively in your relationship, call the free Respect line on 0808 802 4040.

Final thoughts

Healthy relationships take time and effort, and it’s normal to face challenges along the way. Setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and looking after yourself can help you build positive connections. If things feel difficult, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or University support services.

This page was written by Student Support in partnership with students.

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